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Do you know what a #7 is? It’s the filet-O-fish combo at McDonald’s and its glorious. I had one the other day and I honestly can’t remember the last time I  had one. I was very reluctant, but my youngest bro assured me it would rock my world, and it did. First of all, when you order a fof its always going to be hot, because no one orders them. The bun was perfect, in fact it looked liked my sandwich could be in a commercial. It was so good, that its all I’ve  thought about. I want to eat one everyday, but I know if I do that, I will look like a tank in no time. FYI, the fof was introduced in 1963. I  think everyone who reads this needs to commit to trying one. Now, if you think,  there’s no way  I’m going to McDonald’s for fish, I love the Big Mac, I have a solution: share it and make it an appetizer. My mom, brother and I did this, and it was suberb, we each got 1.5 bites.

tip#1. DO NOT read the bottom of the box.

tip#2. try it.

tip#3. always order a diet coke with your combo.

tip#4. combo’s taste best when you’re hungover.

Cheers, cheers

lxo

deliciousness. cheese, tartar sauce, and fake fish.

my boobs inflate and deflate

What the hell was George Clooney’s girlfriend wearing? Did she go to David’s Bridal to get that thing? Matching purse, matching shawl, she probably had on dyeable shoes. SIGH. Tragic. Tacky. Tasteless. It’s the Oscar you poor thing. Charlize Thereon. Nice one. It looked like someone deflated  rubber dingys on your boobs.  SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker) I love her style. I loved her couture Chanel dress, but the hair, and the spray tan. Holy hell, sweet child. It looked like she swam in a pool of Orangina. Too orange. Her hair was too severe, it took away from that dress.  I judge harshly, you don’t get invited the week before, you have time, money and designers all coming together, their mission: to make you look divine.   Now, I have to talk about ABC. WTF were  they thinking have Kathy Ireland on the red carpet. I had just finished eating some chicken parmigiano, and I almost brought it up. It looked liked she was doing the worm standing up, she was constantly moving. Her dress, puke. She was awkward. The shits.  Sherri Shepard, from The View. Sweet child, who dressed you. It was all wrong.   Switching gears here’s who I loved. Demi Moore, gorgeous. Rachel McAdams, stunning…..I loved her dress, I think my favorite. Sandra Bullock, looked the part, very glamorous. I was so happy she won. Meryl Streep. Goddess. 

Cheers, cheers

lxo

Elie Saab dress.....love it.

It was late fall 2005 the first time I made a baby go orange. Poor Jax had a clueless mom! He loved carrots and sweet potatoes and I would feed them to him all the time…a little too often.  It was during a photo shoot that I looked at the pictures and thought “is he orange?”, sure enough he was. Beta-carotene overload Wendy informed me. She in fact turned Leigh orange, so I guess it runs in the family. 

With Kai I was much more aware of when he last ate beta-carotene rich food so I could avoid the healthy orange ‘glow’…but you know how it gets the more babies that come along the more relaxed you get! I looked at Billie the other day and thought oh no is she gonna go too??? Needless to say I’ve been laying off the orange food to keep her a nice, normal colour.

Tip#1 You know it, I know it….moderation is key!

Peace out dudes…

Hopefully no one learned anything new.  All Malone talks about are vagina’s and peckers. The conversation this morning  went as follows:

Malone: I have a pecker Mommy.

me: no, Malone boys have peckers. You have a vagina.

Malone: yeah, that’s silly, I have a gi-na. (I hate how she says it.) Daddy, has a pecker.

me: yes.

Malone: and Kai has a pecker, and Jax has a pecker, and Wizzy has a pecker. Does Rossy have one?

me: Yes.

Malone: yeah, boys stand to pee, girls sit.

Me: yes.

You see most mornings, if I don’t go in to supervise the first pee, Malone will stand up, push her hips forward, and pinch her imaginary penis……she’s desperately trying to  pee like the boys do. She’s around Jax and Kai so much, that she thinks, shit, I  can do that too (at least I hope  that is what she thinks). Some days I find her straddling the toilet backward, or she’s lifted up both seats and is dipping her bum in the toilet water (suss, gross).  The other component to this story is that yes people, vagina’s are vagina’s, penis or peckers are just that. Call a spade a spade. A good friend of my mothers insists on calling vagina’s “pooties” and penises “dinkydoos”. Seriously. I go crazy when she calls them that. The other day Debbie said to me, “what if you’re  in the grocery store and Malone asks if that lady has a vagina”.

Me: you don’t think if she says “mom, does that lady have a pooty” that she can’t figure what she’s referring to.

I just feel that if you weight all body parts equally, none will stand out.  Some of my dear South African friends call vagina’s “cookies” or your “front bum”, or  “guava”. Imagine being in the grocery and stopping in front of the guavas and your daughter asks “what are those Mommy”. Explain that one to her.

tip#1. get over being uncomfortable with the words vagina and penis.

tip#2. when Malone picks a very public time to talk about them, I tell her I just saw Swiper. (always be ready to redirect)

tip#3. drink wine.

Cheers cheers.

Lxo

I have a 5 year old boy child. It blows my mind that we have gotten to this point. He’s turning into a cool little dude. He already understands the importance of dressing well and the necessity of a denim jacket…any given day when I come downstairs dressed he’ll give me a once over and say “Ilike that outfit mom”, with Wizzy he throws out “you look handsome dad, I like your tie.”  He is very good to his baby brother and sister and cousins.  We actually have to remind him about personal space (no I will not raise a space invader), he can’t seem to get enough of Stella and Billie, appearing as if he wants to ingest them!

He knows good music and is beginning to leave that weird spastic little kiddie dancing behind for more rhythmical, recognizable moves!
Just last night while I was making dinner he came into the kitchen and asked “mom, what is that beautiful smell coming from the oven?”

As Wendy always says, “its tough being the oldest”, I think Jaxy is gonna be ok…I should stop there…if Dickie could read this he would tell me to get a hold of myself.

Peace out dudes.

It’s going to be a long one…Wizzy and I partied last night like we were young and had no responsibilities. Sh*t got crazy. More than once I did the Moir/Virtue Goose lift!

Everytime I do this I totally regret it. I wake up feeling like a train smash and still have kids looking at me for cereal, entertainment, clean clothes…you get it. Please help me get through this day!
But YEAH CANADA!!! How could we not celebrate, right?
Peace out Dudes….

GO CANADA GO….do you remember where you were in 2002 when they stomped on the U.S team??? We were at Eddies On Main (since closed)…partying and celebrating the sh*t out of that win…..hopefully today we can do the same…Good Luck Boys!!!