meandmeg.com

Hopefully no one learned anything new.  All Malone talks about are vagina’s and peckers. The conversation this morning  went as follows:

Malone: I have a pecker Mommy.

me: no, Malone boys have peckers. You have a vagina.

Malone: yeah, that’s silly, I have a gi-na. (I hate how she says it.) Daddy, has a pecker.

me: yes.

Malone: and Kai has a pecker, and Jax has a pecker, and Wizzy has a pecker. Does Rossy have one?

me: Yes.

Malone: yeah, boys stand to pee, girls sit.

Me: yes.

You see most mornings, if I don’t go in to supervise the first pee, Malone will stand up, push her hips forward, and pinch her imaginary penis……she’s desperately trying to  pee like the boys do. She’s around Jax and Kai so much, that she thinks, shit, I  can do that too (at least I hope  that is what she thinks). Some days I find her straddling the toilet backward, or she’s lifted up both seats and is dipping her bum in the toilet water (suss, gross).  The other component to this story is that yes people, vagina’s are vagina’s, penis or peckers are just that. Call a spade a spade. A good friend of my mothers insists on calling vagina’s “pooties” and penises “dinkydoos”. Seriously. I go crazy when she calls them that. The other day Debbie said to me, “what if you’re  in the grocery store and Malone asks if that lady has a vagina”.

Me: you don’t think if she says “mom, does that lady have a pooty” that she can’t figure what she’s referring to.

I just feel that if you weight all body parts equally, none will stand out.  Some of my dear South African friends call vagina’s “cookies” or your “front bum”, or  “guava”. Imagine being in the grocery and stopping in front of the guavas and your daughter asks “what are those Mommy”. Explain that one to her.

tip#1. get over being uncomfortable with the words vagina and penis.

tip#2. when Malone picks a very public time to talk about them, I tell her I just saw Swiper. (always be ready to redirect)

tip#3. drink wine.

Cheers cheers.

Lxo