meandmeg.com

 That’s how Leigh and I refer to it when a child of ours goes squirrely. I have a child going squirrely.

I’m not sure what is going on but Billie is becoming a crazy baby. The problem is, I spent the last 5 months telling Leigh that Stella is totally outrageous, all the while Billie progressed nicely, appearing to be a normal child. Then she started walking, that was about 2 months ago and since then she has grown to be more and more unpredictable. Now all the finger waving I did at Leigh seems to have come full circle. Great.

Let me give you a breakdown. First of all Billie is a total snot bag.  At home with the fam she is funny and smiley and happy (well, use to be). You head out into public with Billie and she shuts it down. Kind passersby smile at her, try to engage her, she looks them up and down like they just spit in her dinner; with utter disdain. Even Jeff and Ross, who see her almost every day are not on Billie’s ‘friend’ list. She is not impressed with them, at all.

She yells (thank you Stella) at her brothers. She may like what they are doing one minute and be laughing and then just like that, she is over it and is yelling at them. She cries hard and loud when things don’t go her way. I mean loud and hard, with theatrics.

She is in that phase where she can’t communicate  that well. Her sign language is still limited but her needs are increasingly more complicated.  If you screw up what she wants she goes ape shit on you. It is a bit off putting, the child is 13 months old, she needs to keep it together.

I blame it on her being a female. Jax and Kai were both lovely babies and besides Kai’s physical adventures, were both easy toddlers with only minor corrections being required.  Billie, I fear is going to be a totally bitch. I will not have it. If she wants to go toe to toe, I will do it and not feel bad. She doesn’t realize, my heart doesn’t ache when she cries.

Now she has decided she should climb up the bar stools and the ladder on the boys bunk beds. Take her down and feel her wrath.  Also, her baby fighting with Stella is becoming more frequent and aggressive.

These next few months are going to be very interesting. I love a feisty personality, I don’t like whiny bitches…lets see which way this goes!

The last week or so I’ve been thinking we should free Kai of his training wheels and really let him rock out on his bike. Last night Wizzy took them off and Kai got on the bike and rode away…the man was ready.  Last summer I couldn’t get him to sit on his bike and this summer he doesn’t like to get off it. 

Jax, impressed by his brothers coordination and balance, told Wizzy and I that he has been riding his two-wheeler since he was 2!  Nope, sorry Jax, you just started riding it this summer and you cried for a few weeks before you would do it.

Kai has had a big week and it is only Wednesday. In preparation for school, I have been trying (read: wanting to take my life) to get him to master his writing, cutting  and letters.  The man has got it. Joy to my heart. My little Kaibear is going to make it, well at least while bike riding or attending J.K!!!

As you aware I have two boys. I have mentioned it previously, but my two boys are very fond of their private parts, what we Wismer’s call peckers. It’s actually a bit much. The good news is  that this summer I have been able to get them to keep their clothes on most of time.  Jax is totally fine with it, he tells me he doesn’t want people to see his unit.  Kai is still not entirely convinced that wearing clothes is the best option but he does it because he is told to. If no one is around he will ask:  ”can I  go nudey?”  It’s  a terrible combination, a nudey boy who loves his package. It is unsettling.  He is known around here as nature boy, he feels at home nude, searching for spiders and toads.

This weekend I was informed of a story, involving Jax and his pecker.  A few weeks ago we were at a friends house for a little pool party. The boys were drinking so much pool water they were literally going pee every 10 minutes. I had just come back from the bathroom with Kai and Jax had to go. A friend that was also there said she would take him down, he needed help with the tie on his board shorts. This friend of ours undoes his shorts and Jax is now standing over the toilet when he proceeds to ask her to hold his pecker. She thinks for a second and tells him ”no, I think you’re ok.” Jax proceeds to say, “no, no it’s ok, you can hold it!”  Excuse me!  I cannot believe my 5 year old son is already trying to get girls to handle his unit. No one has had  to steer his pee in a good year and a half…this boy was trying to make a move!

Enough of that. I’ve got to run, I have a hair appointment…I hope I have to wait so I can finish my book, The Girl who Played with Fire, it is engrossing.  I am trying to grow my hair and have held off getting a trim, but I can’t take it anymore….Wizz doesn’t understand, why would you get your hair cut when you want it long?  It’s for the health of my hair Robb, nobody wants split ends.

I’ve been doing a lot of talking to the Universe lately. I need some major things to happen and these are the kind of things I think the Universe is involved in. As I sit hear trying to type this, I have a baby crawling up me, trying to bang the keyboard, I have a 3 year old asking over and over again if it is pancake Saturday???? No Kai it is not pancake Saturday, it is Mini-Wheat Thursday. Point is, I need some space. Not just me, this family needs some more space. We live in a tiny place that is no longer meeting our needs (not sure a first home ever does, which I can accept). We need to upgrade this house to one with an extra bedroom and an office, at least.  This is where the Universe comes into play. I say Hey Universe, I am ready to be loaded, I am ready to have a bigger home, another car, more money, I am ready….so whenever you are is cool with me, preferably sooner than later?  The Universe is still not convinced I guess.  However, just got another great real estate client, thank you Universe!

There are a few more reasons why I think the Universe is revving up its engine and getting ready to provide for me? The first one is my new obsession. I am a finalist in a Reader’s Digest contest that could see me be the winner of $500,000 and secondary prizes totally another $100,000. The fam thinks this is a joke. Here is the intriguing part. Back in May I asked Dyl to put one of my many responses (you have to continue to send them back as they continue to narrow down the contestants) in the mail, I asked him to grab me a stamp for it first. Unfortunately Dyl did not hear me about the stamp and just threw it in the mailbox. I was devastated, I know a bit much, but I am convinced I am winning this thing. I head over to the post office to tell them the problem, they say sorry, it will just have to cycle through the system and then be returned to you if you put your return address on it. Now I will miss the deadline and my hopes are shattered. Here’s the intriguing part. I never get it back, what I do get is the follow up from Reader’s Digest! I am still a contestant!!!! Some how the Universe provided me with a stamp when I didn’t have one, this contest is in the bag!  The second offering is something Leigh and I are totally pumped about but still can not reveal to you….soon. Basically I have reason to hope. I have reason to believe that I am going to be busting my family out of this house sometime soon.  I am ready. I am ready.

MISSING

Crab last seen in his backyard after being taken out of his crabitat by his owner, 3-year-old Kai. He may still be in the area. He was last seen wearing his lady bug crab shell.

Missing from: Bradford, On.

DOB: unknown.

Height: 6cm

Weight:30grms

Eyes: black

Sex: Male

Hair: none.

Anyone with information is asked to contact Meg at: meg@meandmeg.com. A large cash reward is being offered.

That’s right. Yesterday Kai “lost” a crab.  When Meg called to tell me my first thought was: how convenient just this morning you were saying how much  you much depised them. I don’t think this is any accident folks.  I’m thinking she’s a crab killer.

Cheers, cheers

Lxo.

Here’s the thing, I knew Leigh was going to hit Wizzy and I hard…we gave her a lot of gold. As you know by now Wizzy and I openly argued over some of the stupidest shit possible this weekend…Leigh bore witness, she had no choice but to expose us.  So I decided f*ck her, I am going to bring some of her weekend gold to the people!

I don’t know if you are aware but Leigh is low iron. This means that at any given time Leigh’s strength could be that of an ant.  For instance, last night, when we had the fam at our place for din, I told Leigh she could take my new Instyle mag if she wanted? To which, she responded, and I quote: I can’t, I don’t have the strength to carry it home.  A magazine.   I probably should have told you this already, but to set the scene, Dyl, Jeff and Wizz were watching Tropic Thunder. At the time of the magazine offering, the movie probably had about 10 mins left. Now Malone approaches saying she is hungry, can she have some ginger cookies? Leigh proceeds to get her the cookies. When I see Malone, she has a Lasagna pan with one or two heart shaped ginger cookies in it.  Forgot the drawer full of plastic bowls! In Leigh’s exhaustion she reached for the closest thing, that in this case was a 9×13 glass bowl which has tiny cookies in it…good call.  Anyway, Leigh is back sitting now and turns to Dyl and says ‘lets go, I’m ready’….I say Leigh there is literally 2 mins left in this movie, can’t you wait?’ No, she says. She gets up to go, Dyl follows shortly after. He understands her.

Yes Wizz and I have gone a little crazy over the crabs, but the crabs will go one day and it will all subside. Leigh can’t escape her crazy, it is her.

Off to the city for a night away….3 year anniversary! Can’t wait for kids to do the math on that one..we still have some time.